Vegans and Aliens Part Dos featuring more Porter Rockwell, and zombies

Lets talk about alien invasion.
In the course of my wacked out life I have known two induviduals who are scared to death of aliens.
The first was one of my blacksmithing teachers. He no longer lives in Utah so I can talk about him with impunity ( I think)...
His name was Daniel and aliens really freaked him out, so much so that he didnt even like to talk about them. Not at all, not even to tell poeple he didnt like to talk about them. If the subject came up, he would leave the room faster than a Mo walking out of an R rated movie.
Once on a late nate drive through the deserts of Western Utah where we had been searching ghost towns for Wrought iron, I got to talking about a couple of strange things I had seen in the sky while driving through the deserts of Utah at night. He really got upset and kept telling me to shut up. I finally got him to tell me the whole sordid tale. It seems that once as a child he was playing hide and seek in some abandoned houses in New England somewhere, and thats the last thing he remembers. He woke up two days later in the woods 10 miles from home with a small incision like cut behind his knee. He dosent remeber how he got back home or how his parents reacted or anything really, but he knows that he still has a scar and claims it bleeds on occasion for no apperant reason. He is convinced he was abducted and taken on some form of intergalatic joy ride or reality show. His biggest fear is that if he talks about it or even thinks about it too much he will trigger some kind of alarm somewhere and the aliens will say something like "Oh, hey and by the way, we havent looked in on subject H66387289U6767338.9/2233 lately, lets swing by and grab him and see how his LDL level is doing" and the next thing he knows he will wake up in Branson, Missouri or something.
I found his story interesteing, but Daniel also believes in, and claims to have seen, both dragons and fairies as well.
The other Person I will allow to remain annonymous, but for the sake of the story I will call him Jake. Jake is a really good guy and one of the funniest people I have ever known, hes wicked smart, too. Jake is also freaked out by aliens. The difference is that Jake likes to talk about aliens, and likes a good alien flick, which makes for some fun discussions, as well as inspiring me to fantasize about kidnapping him and driving through the desert at night to drop him off in Roswell, New Mexico. It would be hilarious.
Something that Jake and I share is a love of zombie movies. I am obsessed with zombies for some reason. And no, its not because I have been abducted by zombies. (I think.)
Anyway it got me to thinking- wouldnt the tactics for fighting an alien invasion pretty much be the same as fighing a zombie outbreak? For your consideration:
Step 1: Put down the remote and realize that something is very worng before its too late and you are eaten or vaporized
Step 2:Arm yourself
Step 3: Figure out what the enemie's weakness is. For zombies it is the head, you have to destroy or severly damage the head. Aliens is anyones guess, but I would probably try the head first and by process of elimination determine whet the best part to shoot is. I hope it is something hilarious like the kidneys or the butt.
Step 4: Continue to shoot them in the head or the butt, depending on which it is, and gather a team of fellow survivors to load up tons of gear and head for the hills.
Step 5:Establish base camp, secure your perimeter,a nd get the power on in time to watch Hell's Kitchen on Friday night.


I kind of think that maybe Porter Rockwell would be the ultimate Alien/Zombie fighter. That guy took zero crap from anybody, am I right, whether the problem at hand was a pod of worker bees from Sigma 5 looking to colonize or a pack of the walking undead with a messed up nervous system trying to have a Porterhouse Steak Tartar, (I know thats lame but its the best I could some up with) ,for brunch. I think he would win. I can see him riding off into the sunset on the alien spacecraft like Slim Pickins did in that movie where he rode the Nuclear Bomb- I cannever remember the name of that movie. WHat a great ending.
And since I mentioned Vegans in the title, hey Vegans, you dont look so healthy. Seriously. Have you seen the lead singer from R.E.M. lately? he looks arange and bumpy.Eat some meat, dagnabbit.